{"id":4414,"date":"2014-05-16T10:30:28","date_gmt":"2014-05-16T10:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.power2improve.com\/?p=4414"},"modified":"2016-11-01T11:35:16","modified_gmt":"2016-11-01T09:35:16","slug":"better-lighter-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.power2improve.com\/en\/blog\/2014\/05\/16\/better-lighter-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Better lighter life"},"content":{"rendered":"

We meet them often in our coaching practice. People who move loads and loads of work, but\u00a0still never do well. Never good enough anyway. This gives them a lot of trouble,\u00a0and pain. The remedy is simple, but not easy.<\/h3>\n

<\/div>
<\/div>
<\/div><\/h3>\n

When\u00a0people\u00a0like this\u00a0arrive\u00a0somewhere late – because that preceding\u00a0other\u00a0action was a bit off – they pause at the door for a moment. Before they move the latch, they mentally picture the situation\u00a0they will find. Inside, they suspect, people are pissed off at them. They will throw cranky looks and utter cynical and harsh words and have\u00a0no\u00a0appreciation for their hard work, yet shut them out. Those\u00a0mere thoughts of their stomach squeezes together.<\/p>\n

To avoid the worst comments they decide to make a comment themselves. Or a joke.”Good afternoon!”, they cry with a big fake smile, as they enter. Even though it\u00a0is still only half way that morning…<\/p>\n

Painful criticism<\/h3>\n

The question that<\/span> arises is<\/span>: who<\/span> puts up those high demands\u00a0anyway?<\/span> Who thinks<\/span> everything they do<\/span> is never<\/span> (going to be)\u00a0good enough?<\/span> Who is failing to see<\/span>\u00a0and acknowledge\u00a0what they do? Who is <\/span>\u00a0speaking<\/span> to them with harsh unappreciative words?<\/span> In many cases<\/span>, the answer is confronting. The ones inflicting<\/span>\u00a0the<\/span> most pain…<\/span>\u00a0are<\/span>\u00a0they\u00a0themselves.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

They have<\/span>\u00a0the\u00a0habit of<\/span> mainly<\/span> listening to<\/span> their ‘<\/span>inner critic’. That strong<\/span>\u00a0inner\u00a0voice that<\/span> criticizes<\/span> them and<\/span> is contemptuous<\/span>. In<\/span> the past, this<\/span> part of themselves<\/span> had<\/span> a task:<\/span> to protect<\/span> them<\/span> from shame and<\/span> hurt<\/span>. Over the<\/span> years this<\/span> sub-personality<\/span>\u00a0grew\u00a0increasingly<\/span> present.<\/span> Even in<\/span> situations where it<\/span> was not necessary<\/span> or even less<\/span> convenient.<\/span> Other, more positive,<\/span>\u00a0inner\u00a0voices were pushed<\/span> into<\/span> the background more and more.<\/span> For example that of\u00a0their<\/span> inner child<\/span>, the part<\/span>\u00a0of<\/span> them that responds<\/span> intuitively<\/span> and<\/span> spontaneously<\/span>.<\/span> Their<\/span> playful<\/span> (<\/span>carefree and uninhibited<\/span> fun<\/span>)<\/span> and their<\/span> vulnerable side<\/span> (shyness<\/span> and insecurity<\/span>). Especially the latter<\/span> is\u00a0<\/span>often shut down\u00a0by <\/span>the<\/span> inner critic<\/span>. At some point, it stings.<\/span>\u00a0The<\/span> inner critic<\/span> no longer prevents\u00a0pain<\/span>, it<\/span>\u00a0down right\u00a0elicits<\/span>\u00a0it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hug<\/h3>\n

Is this true<\/span> for you?<\/span> Time to<\/span> change<\/span>?<\/span> This is how you can<\/span> tackle the issue<\/span>. The<\/span> first step to a<\/span> lighter<\/span> life<\/span> is simple<\/span>, but (often) not easy.<\/span> Give yourself<\/span> that warm<\/span>, big hug.<\/span> Be aware of<\/span> what you do,<\/span> and<\/span> how that feels.<\/span> Then go<\/span> stand in front of<\/span> the mirror and look<\/span> yourself<\/span> in the eye<\/span>. Tell<\/span> yourself<\/span> what you are proud of of having done<\/span>\u00a0that\u00a0in the last<\/span> day<\/span>. Name at least<\/span> three things<\/span> and write them down<\/span>. Take<\/span> forty days,<\/span> each day for<\/span> a<\/span> few minutes<\/span> to<\/span> give yourself<\/span> sincere compliments<\/span> in this way and<\/span> notice\u00a0what is<\/span> happening in your body<\/span> when you do this. Can you feel<\/span> the tension decrease in<\/span> your shoulders<\/span>? Do you feel less<\/span> tired?<\/span> Or is something else manifesting?<\/span> After that period<\/span> you will find that<\/span> your inner critic<\/span> is<\/span> less prevalent.\u00a0Y<\/span>ou are more<\/span> relaxed<\/span> and feel<\/span> much better and<\/span> prouder<\/span>. Now, you<\/span>\u00a0are on your way to\u00a0give yourself<\/span> a<\/span>\u00a0lighter and\u00a0better<\/span> life<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div>
<\/div>
<\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
\"\"<\/div>

Our blog posts, news, webinars and special offers automatically in your inbox?<\/h2><\/div>
<\/div>
Sign up for our FREE newsletter!
<\/div>
<\/div>
<\/div>
\n
\n
\n
\n\r\n
\n\n\n\n\n\n
\r\n